This is Not a Poem

this is not a poem

and it isnt a beautifully written prose either

these my thoughts, raw and unedited

what we both wanted was a bit of fun, at least thats what i thought

no strings, no titles, no stress

now you're flooding my phone with texts messages and sad faces

telling me you want me for keeps, that you've found in me your soul mate

yeah we clicked and sparked-in all kind of ways, everytime we saw each other
but im not ready for anything like that you know

im happy how my life is, no loyalties to anyone but myself

so iv been doing a lot of thinking and reading through all your text messages
trying to read in between the lines, trying to figure out a way to make you back down

and iv come up with nothing, absolutely nothing!

it only got me thinking the more

maybe what you said in your text was right

you figured me out better than i have myself

iv got a weak heart just like you said

as much as my last break up and the sore events after taught me it takes more than love for two to work

it also left me with an ugly scare

yeah my heart is healed but its scared nonetheless

its been there and iv never even been aware of it till now

four times in the space of a year iv come to such a point and just bottled it

iv been too scared

scared of commitment

scare of taking that final step

scare of jumping off the edge

iv found my comfort zone on the edge, not wanting to jump

so like my instructor done to me on my first and last ever sky dive

i need someone to nudge me in the back

or i could just stay there and enjoy the view from the top

yeah maybe i should live my life by my friend's advice

"if you're not ready you're not ready"